This is the first of a fortnightly debate on Twenty Something Bloggers that I'll be participating in. If you want to be linked at the bottom, leave a comment here or click on the question to be taken to the discussion page.
Would you tell your friend if you didn't like his/her partner?
Actually, at the moment I don't like the boyfriend that my best friend Leah's boyfriend...at all. The thing about Leah is that this is her first 'serious' relationship (out of two), and the first one where she knew she wanted to be with him to begin with. During our uni days she was the wild one, always going out and meeting new boys and having several one night stands that didn't mean anything, and she didn't care about it. It wasn't a lack of self-esteem thing, it was more of a "I can do it, so why not?" attitude.
So the fact that she really likes this guy and claims to be in love and that it's been more than 3 months, are all reason as to why I really want to like this guy. Too bad he's kind of an asshole.
The first time I met him he barely even said hi before he got up and went somewhere else; the second time he didn't really say much but was ok, bought myself and another girl friend a drink and I chatted to him for maybe 3 minutes before him and Leah left to another club; and the third time was at a friend's birthday dinner. I was outside having a cigarette with one of my friends and he came out and since I knew he smoked, asked if he wanted one, but he just kinda glanced at me and was like "I don't smoke that shit anymore" and walked back into the restaurant. WTF? A simple "No, thanks" would have sufficed, especially since I was clearly "smoking that shit".
Plus, I know he's a major pothead and it's not like pot is that much better for your throat/lungs. So whatever.
For the most part I just try to ignore that he's Leah's boyfriend, and don't really say anything when she brings him up. I still love her to bits but since he moved to HK we don't really see each other that often, mostly because every time I ask her to do something she wants to check with him and see what he's doing first. Which is kind of annoying, but he is pretty much her first love so I understand why she's like that.
The reason I choose not to say anything is because before all this happened, my other friend started dating a guy I don't really like, and she knew that I didn't like him. I think she felt bad for liking him when a ton of her friends don't, and I don't want to make a friend feel that uncomfortable again. So since then I've shut up and just kept it to myself. After all, she's the one dating him, not me. (Thank God.)
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